Who am I in my coaching? What coaching means to me and what I bring to it

These thoughts were stimulated by a discussion in a members forum on the Fiona Harrold message boards. I have decided to post them here too. The context of the discussion was the re-imagining and re-packaging of coaching. It was a lengthy discussion (over 100 posts) which I had hitherto only contributed to briefly on a few occasions.

In my coaching I am coming from a very particular place, a place which is founded upon and made up of all of my life experience. The same can be said of all of other coaches. I have had a very timely reminder of this this past weekend, whilst attending a course called 'Working with Others' run by the Oasis School of Human Relations I came to that course with my experience and met others with very different experience. For me, there was nothing 'new' on the course, in terms of content. What was new for me was the particular communication model in use, the excellent way in which this was modelled by the facilitator and the dynamics of the particular (wonderful) group of people who were on the course. It was a useful reminder for me of the skills and experience that I do have as well as the areas where I need to do some more work. It was also a reminder not to underestimate myself or my skills and experience.

In terms of coaching-specific training, I did the Newcastle College Certificate and Diploma in Life Coaching and also the Positive Impact Coaching diploma (also NC). The Life Coaching course re-kindled my interest in NLP and led me to the Practitioner Certificate which I am now engaged in. The Positive Impact Coaching course reminded me of the value of my CCI Co-Counselling background and the tool box of skills which I have from that. Angus McLeod who wrote the course is a former Co-Counsellor and demonstrates theses skills, particularly in his style of listening and feedback; I attended a one-day workshop which he ran whilst I was doing the course and it was worth it to see him in action.

I was recently considering doing the Coaches Training Institute (CTI) course and had an hour-long discussion with one of the CTI UK coaches in order to learn about the course and what I would gain from it. I was well aware that part of the reason that I was considering doing another course is my own lack of confidence and wanting to postpone the 'doing' of coaching by clinging on to the role of learner for a while longer.

I entered into the CTI call expecting a hard sell and did not get that at all. The coach to whom I was speaking began by asking me my background. On the basis of this and her subsequent questions, and my responses and questions to her, her advice was along the lines of 'do the course by all means if it will make you feel better, but you probably won't learn much.' This was an amazing - and unexpected - response and of course, for me, an excellent 'modelling' of CTI integrity in action. On the basis of this I would recommend CTI training to others - because of the authentic response I received. I have, however, decided that CTI training is not a good investment for me. It would provide me with useful practice time and a network of contacts, but I don't need to invest several thousand pounds in order to gain that. I can set up practice time for myself and I can utilise and develop other networks. The Certification Programme would be useful, but I cannot access this other than by doing the preliminary course.

So, where am I going with this? I think that the point I am trying to make is that all models are only useful as a starting point and to me that is a fundamental truth.

I was brought up as a Quaker and thus listening and questioning - making up my own mind about things - are core beliefs/values/ ways of being for me, although I lost my way for a long time in the early part of my adult life and forgot how to trust myself. I am no longer a Quaker but I recognise and value the lessons I learned from it in childhood.

What I bring to my coaching practice now is an eclectic mix of all that I am and all that I have learned.

Another discussion point on the Fiona Harrold forum was around the use of terms such as 'designed alliance' in coaching. The comment was made that it didn't mean much to clients. I agree, it doesn't mean much to your average person, so why use it other than when talking to other coaches or in your own practice notes? I used to be an advice worker (two career stages back) and underwent Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) training, which (along with skills and values like listening skills, equality, confidentiality and impartiality) emphasised things like not using jargon - either from lack of awareness or to professionalise or mystify. I am never comfortable with using jargon - in coaching or elsewhere - and I try to be alert to this in myself and to pick myself up when I do it and to rephrase and reframe. There is a lot of jargon out there in coaching as elsewhere and it is used to conceal and to mystify rather than to illuminate. In my coaching process I try to find terms and phrases which will mean something to my client rather than referring to something as (for example) a 'designed alliance' . I try also to be alert to falling into the other extreme of over-simplifying to the point of being patronising.

One of the reminders which came up for me over the weekend (on the Working with Others course) was of a book by Nancy Kline called 'Time to Think' which I bought when I was doing my coaching training. It's a brilliant book about how to create a 'thinking environment' which is (for me) the basis of coaching. I do not see my role as being to give advice and I am very reluctant to take on that role. If people want advice then I would suggest that coaching is not for them. The crux of coaching is that my client already has all of the resources that she or he needs to succeed. That is the belief that I try to hold and to work with. I see my role as being to create an environment in which they can access their own resourcefulness and creativity, and I do that by listening and by asking questions. I do not have all of the answers and I do not want to take on a 'one-up' role.

As you can see, I am thinking aloud here and working out some things for myself in the process. What I love about coaching is that I am learning and developing all of the time. In fact that's what I love about my life!

What we (i.e. coaches) are all searching for - I hope - is ways to make our coaching sit comfortably with who we are. In doing that I don't want to lose sight of what coaching is. I set out to become a coach, not an advice worker (been there) or a counsellor (don't want to go there). I call what I do 'coaching' because it fits the description. Ok, not everyone understands what it means, so then it is my task to illuminate and clarify.

The discussion on the message boards also raised questions about thee usefulness of contracting. I think contracting is crucially important. Unless the contract is made explicit, how do I know that I and my client understand it in the same way or indeed that we are working to the same ends? Just because it seems difficult or the client may not see the usefulness of it (at least initially) is not a reason to chuck it out. I do have difficulty with contracting myself and I think that this is simply my discomfort about trying to lay down some kind of formal process (a 'rule' or set of rules). It would be very easy for me to rationalise myself into reasons for not doing it.

I'm reminded of something which I once read about marriage (women's studies circa 1984!): it is a formal contract, the conditions of which do not become apparent until such time as either party wishes to terminate it.

Contracts are necessary. The contract still exists whether we formalise it or not - like a contract of sale does, or a contract of employment. Better to make it explicit, up-front and out there!

So, to all coaches out there I'd say, keep learning, keep growing and above all keep asking questions. We are in a continual (or is it continuous) process of evolution and change.

Getting down to business, and some reflection and appreciation

Yesterday I did my first piece of facilitation as a self-employed entrepreneur! I had just over an hour to run an interactive Learning Needs Analysis with a multi-agency team of over twenty people (the actual staff team is much larger, but only 20-25 regularly attend team meetings). I put in hours of preparation of course - and hours of thinking about it. I used my networks to get ideas on how to do it too. This is something I would never have felt able to do in my last job as right from the start I felt that I was supposed to know all of the answers, not to be asking others for ideas).

The meeting went according to plan and in the hour or so that I had, I managed to do an introduction, go though a definition, get all of the staff to introduce themselves and then split them into small groups to work through the three questions I had put together. There was even time enough to round off the session by getting each person to say one positive thing or piece of learning thy would take away from the exercise. the session concluded bang on time! Phew!

Today I've been tying up the responses (flipcharted by each group). Of course, in my old role I'd have asked admin to do this - or at least latterly when we had admin available. Actually, it's the kind of thing I don't mind doing myself. I can listen to the radio or to music while I'm doing it. Plus, it's time for reflection and I'm thinking about the outcomes and the report that I'll be compiling as I'm doing it.

This morning I went to an AGM of another project I used to work with and who I am now doing some work for. In her summing up at the end of the meeting the co-ordinator mentioned the programme we are working on, under the title that I had given it in my proposal. Although I knew that the proposal had been accepted I didn't know the title had. The mention of the programme made it all seem official - 'hey, that's my piece of work being referred to!' The co-ordinator also praised a Bradford Council initiative that I was responsible for setting up initially and getting the funding for. This was nice too.

Another big positive from the meeting was catching up with old contacts from my former role.

It's great to be able to go to meetings like this now and just listen with interest to what's going on, without the old sinking feelings of comparison and thinking of all the things I should be doing and how I should have solved all of the domestic abuse problems in the district by now.

The more time goes by since I left my job, the more I can appreciate what I did do and how I did make a difference. I may not have sorted out the world's problems, but I did try to make a difference by supporting staff in agencies who do deliver front-line services, in whatever ways I could. And I did get some good projects and initiatives off the ground. When I was stuck in the middle of it all it all felt so negative and overwhelming. I seldom got any support or recognition from within my own team.

In all the years that I worked for local councils, in different roles, I seldom had any management support or supervision. One of the pluses of this is that I'm extremely self-motivated and good at working on my own initiative and at setting and meeting my own deadlines.

Simple Living America: An uncomfortable truth

Simple Living America: An uncomfortable truth

I found this blog entry (link above) referring to the Al Gore movie , An Inconvenient Truth, with a website link to the Climate Crisis website, which also outlines actions that we can all take.

Grumpy old Dog: Global Warming

Grumpy old Dog: Global Warming

I think that Grump has got a point. It has crossed my mind in the past that perhaps our reign of dominance on this planet is coming to an end, just as the dinosaurs did. All organisms change and evolve. The only thing we can count on is change. It's a scary thought isn't it.

Last week I came across a link to the Al Gore film, An Inconvenient Truth. It was the first I'd heard of it. Then I went to the local independent cinema in Bradford last weekend (to see Snow Cake which I recommend by the way) and saw a trailer for the Al Gore movie. We're intending to go and see it later this month.

September!

It's September and I'm in Chorlton, Manchester, at Gilli's house. I've just completed day one of the NLP foundation course, which is 4 days.

Paul and I got back home around 4 p.m. yesterday, having done the last leg of the Dales cycle way from Kettlewell. We stayed in B and B on Wednesday night after an exhausting day of battling wind and hills. It took 4 1/2 hours to do 26 miles, whereas we'd done 38 in that time the day before (Dent to Reeth.)

Had no mobile reception en route, except in Hawes where we stopped for lunch on Wednesday (and to shelter from the rain.)

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Yorkshire Dales Cycle Way - Sunday Aug 27th, day 1 - Otley to Malham

I'm sitting in the pub on the green in Malham (the Lister Arms Hotel) drinking real ale. There's no mobile reception here, which is frustrating as I can now send emails from this (my Palm PDA) via my mobile. There are of course a lotof big limestone hills around here. I'll have to mail this tomorrow from some rest point en route - perhaps over coffee in Settle or Ingleton.

A wet man has just come in, so it must be raining outside again. We had some very brief and light showers during the day - a mere sprinkling! At about 5.45, 2 1/2 miles out of Malham there was a serious downpou - very cold and very wet. My padded knickers will take forever to dry!

We left home around noon - a mere two hours later than intended. Stopped in Burnsall around 2.30 for a picnic lunh beside the River Wharfe. It was a typical August Bank Holiday weekend scene: people huddled on benches, dressed in warm anoraks and gloves; rubbish strewn across the ground from the overflowing bins. Actually it was very quiet for a Bank Holiday weekend. We picnicked on leftovers from home: home made spelt flour bread, hummus,cheese, olives and salad. There was quite a lot of sun when we set off, but from Burnsall on we kept our jackets on.

We stopped at a Farm Shop in Crcoe to get some veggies for an evening meal (we brought the Trangia this time so we can cook for ourselves). It was a very carniverous shop - lots of 'award winning' meats - so we had to make do with onion and tomatoes. Supper was a good meal though: Thai jasmin rice with tuna, onion, tomatoes and garlic, with some Thai cuury paste that Paul prepared earlier. Mmmm.

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Pictures from festival

Fiona Katie Roberts and harp



























The Conedancers
















The Peace Artistes

Picture quality not wonderful - taken with mobile phone.

Bradford's International Market Festival

Friday saw the start of the 4 day International Market Festival in Bradford city centre. We got down there for the launch yesterday evening and saw two two pieces of outdoor theatre, featuring aerial artistes: the first, 'the diamond', was a giant inflatable 11 metres high with an aerialist inside; the second, 'the heliosphere', was a huge helium-filled balloon with an aerial artist suspended below it. The balloon moved above the crowd, rising and falling as the artist tumbled and turned in time to the music.

Today saw the start of the market, with stalls lining the streets throughout the city centre. I saw the tail-end of another piece of street theatre, 'the Conedancers' which was another aerial show with a man and a woman dancing and tumbling around the sides of an 8 metre high, air-filled cone. Other street performers included the Peace Artistes - famous Bradford street band (I was on the same coach as them down to the peace march in London in 2003, which was very handy as it meant that we got to march alongside them and enjoy the music) and Fiona Katie Roberts, who builds her own harps.

We saw a bit of Fuego Latino (two Salsa dancers) performing with Cubania in Centenary Square as we were returning to the car at the end of the afternooon. Omar Puente (Cuban electric violinist) didn't appear to be with Cubania. Paul and I attended a workshop run by him and members of Cubania at the University last year, then went to their evening performance. Brilliant!

Mighty Zulu nation and the Cajun Aces are performing in Centenary Square tomorrow, but we are setting off to do the Yorkshire Dales cycleway - postponed from last week because I had a stomach bug. Did I mention our intention of doing the C2C in an earlier post? It was too complicated. The railways are not cycle friendly, so getting to Whitehaven to start the ride and then back from Tynemouth at the finish proved too complicated.

C2C

Sustrans C2C

We are planning to cycle the Coast to Coast next week.

I'm back!

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | 'Bidet toilets, they're the future - I've sat on one'
Link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1850911,00.html

Very interesting article from the Guardian ;-)

Yes, I'm back from pedalling the Basque territories. Only came across two internet cafes in the whole two weeks. One in Zarautz on the Basque coast - it was just about to close when we came across it. The other was in another coastal town - the small town of Leteiko - we didn't have time to stop at this one.

So, as to when I'm going to write about it, I don't know. I have only the barest of notes to go on, made during bike-free intervals.

I've been busy catching up on emails since I got back. I've now had at least 80 replies to my 130 emails sent out before the holiday - actually it is probably more than this, thinking about it. But even 80 out of 130 is a very good response rate. I've had several offers of work. Whoopee!

The photo

Not bad, eh. Not a nose ring or tattoo in sight!

:-)

Last minute rush!

Why do I do it??? We are leaving at 4.30 a.m. tomorrow morning and I intended to tidy up the -very messy - house. I haven't even finished packing, nor have I made a list of addresses for the people I am going to send cards to (I did printed out labels when I went to Oz, but that was because I was going for longer).

Last week I got in a panic about not having done anything about getting my business set up for September and contrary to what people seem to think (either I've got a massive pension, or that Paul is keeping me - neither of which are the case) I do need to earn some money. i also need to make some kind of investment so that when I do retire I have enough to live on. Anyway, the upshot of this was that I finally wrote my entry for the WorcNet directory last Friday and sent it in. Today I have emailed them a photo to use - Paul took it just now, with me kneeling on the bed (there is a nice plain background behind it) going through a series of poses and expressions, most of which looked like someone you wouldn't want to employ at all!

Yesterday I emailed all of my Bradford council contacts, which took eight hours as I wanted to write to each one individually. Paul tutted over this rather a lot and remarked that 'I thought you were going to spend this 6 weeks with me,' in a 'bah humbug' kind of tone. 'I will, I will,' I said 'I'll just do this ...' Then today of course I had some replies (a lot of replies) so I responded to those. I've been bowled over by the response. I've had several offers of work and have put a few dates in my diary.

People do care! More than that, people obviously do respect and value me. One person who I worked with nearly 20 years ago and who I had a little contact with in my last job, though not for a couple of years, wrote in response to my email header of 'Anna who?', 'Anna who we all know and love.' I was really touched by that. He told me to get in touch and arrange a meeting when I get back. Wow!